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I GOT HAIR ON MY CHEST, I LOOK GOOD WITHOUT A SHIRT 2003-03-30 | 1:36 p.m. MMMMmmmm......Dreams are so confusing. I woke up this morning completely baffled. I dreamt that I was riding up to the porch of a very old house on the cave train from the Boardwalk in Santa Cruz. After deboarding I walked through the door of the house to see a petite dark haired woman walking away naked down the hall. She was later identified as Amelie. As I walked through the house I came across Gene Wilder who was of course, my husband. Gene tried to get some and as he was lying on top of me kissing me I had a vision of him and Amelie having sex. I told him that he was getting nothing from me but a divorce and that he should be ashamed for sleeping with his father’s new wife. His father looked exactly the same as him but really, really old. I exclaimed to Gene that women have intuition and this is what makes us superior to men. "You suck!" I screamed. Soon his entire family was in this living room with us and I told everyone about what I had found out. No one really cared and I think that’s when I woke up having a bit of an anxiety attack. Yup, an anxiety attack while sleeping. Who ever heard of that? I never have had one before so I’m only assuming that’s what it was but fuck man it sucked royally. I felt all scared and was shaking. I was like terrified of not being able to go back to sleep but terrified to sleep at the same time. Suck. Suck. Suck. So normally when I have these dreams of someone cheating on me or people hating me in general it’s my boyfriend and people I know. I think I sent my system into shock mode by throwing Gene Wilder into the mix. Maybe it has something to do with Theraflu at work and then Nyquil at home before bed. Maybe it was brought on by the drama that is my job. Maybe I’m just crazy. Whatever. Speaking of my job I’m sure you’ll all be pleased to hear that I was cornered last night by a gentleman who repeatedly told me how he admired me and wanted to be as brave as me all the while trying to cop a feel and letting spittle fly from his mouth onto my fucking face. The look on my face was pure terror and therefore his friend gave me a hundred dollar tip. I said good day to all of them and ran my ass far away never to return. No shit. P.S. I don’t have the SARS. I was just being dramatic. I’m getting better.
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