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VALENTINE SHMALENTINE 2003-02-13 | 7:22 p.m. Dear JELL-O Ass, By the time you read this, I'll be maxing out your Visa. I'm sorry for doing this but, it fulfills my sadistic fantasies. I know this might comes as a bit of a brain aneurysm to you - especially because you're too buried in porn to notice. But I'm sorry – I just need hot sex with someone who isn't a human potato sack. I think you're swell, but I don't think we're right for each other. First of all, we're not compatible. You're a German Scat Aficionado, and I'm beyond that. You like boudoir role-playing, you eat mayonnaise-based salads, and enjoy Aqua Velva, and I don't like two of these things. Your favorite movie is Glitter, and your favorite band is Rammstein. Do you even know what my favorite movie or band is? I once asked you what color my eyes are and you said "Round". Anyway, I want to date other people. But you know what? I still want to be stalked. We can totally live on opposite coasts . We had some good times, or so it looks on the videotape (even though I'm passed out) . But please, don't get all John Wayne Gacy like last time. That means no botched suicide attempts. And look - I won't even make an issue out of the $5,000 you owe me, or the fact that you punched my grandmother. So take care of yourself - and irrigate that chancre. Yours In Contempt, stare-girl P.S. I'll love you forever. Call me next week..
go try for yourself
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